RyanYEAH!!

Whether you were a McCain supporter or not, if you are human, you should be able to separate yourself from political nonsense to realize just how funny this is… If you are offended… you need to read another blog.

Audra’s stream-of-consciousness ramblings (using dolls to represent the candidates):

“This is like a game for choosing the leader.  We decide the leader and we decide Barack Obama.  He’s got spirit.  He’s got spirit for the holy nation.  We must all live in our holy nation so redemption can pour out.  Our last name is Barbie.  Can you say that?  Barbie.  Good.  Now the sign might say an important thing.  Ladies and gentleman you obey that thing.  You will be republicans.  You don’t want to be republicans.  You want to be Christians because Christians is the name of the holy God.  When a republican girl jumps on your neck then your hopping, hopping, hopping and you laugh and you stretch your body wide. The shoe fell off again.  What should I do?  It’s time to vote.  We all need to put our votes for who we want to be leader.  Who should be the greatest?  Democrats or Republicans?  They lose.  The presidents are running for the state.  Everyone must obey this sign.  This girl is holding the sign.  She looks like a doctor, but they don’t care.  I look cute.  The wonderings.  The wonderings it is.  This is the president.  This is the sister.  She just joined the family and they are all voting to be president today.  I am the first lady.  From Tottington Hall. Mrs. Tottington is my name.  Everyone obey me.   I am here to speak to you tonight for all of the presidential candidals.  I’m here to talk about the candidals but I don’t know what they mean.  Do you?  Does anyone know?  Yes.   Good!  Individual.  Individual under God.  Yes! ”

And Now, Sarah Palin during her Katie Couric interview:

“We have trade missions back and forth.  We, we do, it’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to, to our state.”

And here is how she responded to what she thought about the economic bailout plan:

“That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we’re ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh — it’s got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we’ve got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.”

1) As you can see in the photo, Abe was the real father of hip hop. According to friends, he could often be found “driving slow, homie” and “slapping hoes.”

2) His face is on the $5 bill, which is way more badass than being on the $1 bill, quarter, dime, nickel, and penny. In Lincoln’s own words, “All those other babies can suck it!”

3) He is the creator of several popular catch phrases such as “Four score and seven years ago.” In addition, he was the first person to ever use the abbreviation “wtf”, “rofl”, and “lol” in everyday language, almost 200 years before they became popular.

4) He was a networking genius. Quoted as saying, “If you wish to win a man over to your ideas, first make him your friend,” Lincoln’s popular ratio on DIGG is 59%… he has discovered and stumbled over 29,353 websites, and his YOUTUBE channel has over 10 million views.

5) The man had Syphilis, and we all know how you get syphilis… from banging hoes.

6) He was straight up assassinated. In the fashion of Biggie and Tupac, haters showed up while he was hanging out and popped a cap. Suckers die of TB and weird-ass milk sickness. Real gangsters die hustling.